i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
