i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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