you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
