We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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