Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
