Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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