Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
