this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
