my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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