Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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