Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
