Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
