hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
