guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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