I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
