Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
