I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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