fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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