i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
