He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
