yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
