C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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