is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
