They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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