So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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