I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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