Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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