you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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