Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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