Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
