Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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