guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
