She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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