If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
