yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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