Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
