Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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