so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
