some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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