halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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