just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
