So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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