Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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