She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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