How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
