Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
