College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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