it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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