so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
