its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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